Tuesday, 15 December 2015

Hello Tom.

I have mentioned a fair few times on here that blogging has not been my biggest strength. Especially with starting back up at university full time, it really has taken a back seat. I do miss it.

Back in September I realised that this year was going to be full on. I have every single day planned, lectured or rostered until next September with very little breathing space. I clearly remember telling my Mum when I started my MSc that I really 'could not take on anymore busyness.'

Then in October this guy called Tom came along.

I want to add a prelude to this 'How I Met Tom' story. Since my last relationship, of which many of you joined on my journey to the breakdown of, I have dated a few guys. Some lasted a few weeks and some a few months. But there was something chewing at them.

Anxiety.

It just never felt right and even though I was in no headspace to say I wanted to 'settle down'. I did want something that was genuine and moving somewhere...even if somewhere was knowing where we stood a couple of months down the line. These dating spells were not going anywhere and so when I started the course I was done with dating. I wanted to focus on me for a change and I was genuinely excited for a new start.

At the end of September I went to a good friend of mines hen do and I was surrounded by love, wedding talk and all the oohs and ahhs that surround such a wonderful celebration. I came away from the weekend feeling elated for Katie but I won't lie. For the first time ever...I questioned when it would be my turn and I had an evening of feeling a little blah. It was then the following Friday night I was having one of my regular scrolls through Facebook whilst doing a backlog of university work. I came across a photo that Tom had put up of him painting on a Friday night and I remember thinking 'at least I am not the only one stuck inside doing something boring'. So I commented on it and we had a mini reply to each other.

(It might be important to note here that the reason why Tom and I were Facebook friends is because we worked together in my previous job. In fact we actually went to school together. He was in the year above me so when he started working at the hospital I recognised him immediately. But there was nothing to note between us because we were in our previous relationships.)



So moving swiftly on...I thought nothing of the Facebook message. Then a few days later I was doing school work, yet again, and I wondered about him. I thought I would send a cheeky message to see how the painting was going. And I guess you could say the rest was history. We chatted for a few weeks until he asked me out...but I remember questioning if it was a date or not.

Our first date was on the 13th October 2015 and we played TopGolf. We kept talking about how strange it was that we probably walked passed each other loads in the corridors at school and in work but hardly batted an eyelid. Now we were on a date! We saw each other the following day and then that weekend and I guess we have been pretty much inseparable since.

I am just so happy and even though we may still be in the 'honeymoon phase' as people call it. I cannot deny how special he is to me already. I love that I don't have to work him out, we want to same things in life, I don't feel anxious- in fact he eases my anxiety instead of exacerbates it.



But most of all I just feel lucky. I am so blessed to have someone who makes me smile for no reason, pushes me when the essays get tough, surprises me with the kindest of gestures and for someone who is real and on my wavelength.

I remember in September when I questioned when it would be my turn...and I find it so faultless how at the exact moment I chose to give up and focus on something else. He turned up.

And I have counted my lucky stars ever since.

Plus I fancy the absolute pants off of him...so that helps too!


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2 comments:

Callie said...

I'm so happy for you Becca! This is really similar to where I was when I met Derek - decided to give up on looking for a boyfriend and then found him! I hope you have a lovely first Christmas as a couple!

Mary said...

I am soooo happy for you! What a cute couple you 2 are! :)
My middle son's (now ex) girlfriend showed me a picture of the 2 of them at a party. Well, actually, it was a picture of her and a friend with my son in the background. This was before they started dating or really even knew each other. You just never know! :)

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