Monday, 14 May 2012

Burnt Out

I'm not sure even burnt out is even the word. I really don't know where this year is going at the moment and over the last few weeks I have had something tugging at my heart strings. 

I'm sick of my job.

I knew when entering this profession that it involved shift work, which I happen to quite like. I knew that part of the job specification was to do night duty too. But I have noticed since January that my regular 5-6 shifts of night duty per rota has gone up to approx 10-12. It's to the point that I do more nights than day shifts!

A few of my friends like night duty but I really do not. It is slower paced, still busy but in a different way, less patient care and more annoyingly I don't get to enhance my clinical skills as much....because my patients are asleep! It has got to the point now I really feel like my skills are suffering a little, and mixed in with the fact I don't like nights very much, I dread work now. 

What I think really made me realise I'd like to move jobs is the other day I had come off nights and flipped back into day shifts (I adjust to the flipping quite well). The day shifts are BUSY and quite often manic which I used to thrive off! But when you're used to the pace of nights going into day shifts is a huge adjustment for me....and I panicked, had a little cry and genuinely thought "I can't do this any more."

I have spoken to my manager but due to us being so short staffed they have very few senior nurses to take charge on nothing will be changing any time soon with my rota. 

Therefore, I feel the only way is out. I think it would be really nice for a change of scenery. I have been at my hospital 5 years now with 3 years of training and 2 years qualified. I think that's long enough?!

I have found a couple of jobs I really would like to go for but I have the hard task of breaking the news to my lovely manager that I want to leave.

It really breaks my heart as I LOVE the people I work with but I feel like I go to work sometimes with this "I can't be bothered" attitude which is not fair on the team or my patients.

I think it's a time for change.

I'm just so scared trying to make the leap.


CrysHouse said...

I totally "get" you. Sometimes, lack of support makes you feel stuck--especially when you know you're floundering. I've felt that...and definitely feel it at different points throughout the semester.

Good luck :)

Hey Monkey Butt said...

Change is always scary, but you should definitely take the chance. :) Good luck lady!

Katie said...

For graduation from nursing school last weekend, I got my sister a little painting that says "Leap Fearlessly." Sometimes, it's just the right thing to do.

Colette said...

I know what you mean about not wanting to tell your boss you'd like to leave; I am totally overqualified for my job but I love my team too much to leave them!

I also feel your pain about shift work, especially now that you have Simon, it's hard never being on the same schedule.

What kind of position are you looking for? Do you think you'll find one with a flexible schedule that let's you go on mini breaks?

Stacie said...

Change is good. That is what is so great about the nursing profession- there are so many different areas to move in and out of. You are so young it's great if you don't have to limit yourself just yet.

I wanted to be a pediatric nurse when I was 5 years old. Crazy, huh? My first nursing job was in a pediatrician's office. Then I did some children's hospital work- peds surgical unit and peds hem/onc. Then I moved onto NICU and well-baby nursery. Then I transitioned to Mother/Baby (postpartum care of moms and babies together) and now I work as a school nurse at an all-male boarding school (ages 13-18). Each one of these jobs has helped me with another. I have pretty much stuck to my true love but I have obviously moved around a bit in my 13 years as a nurse.

It is daunting when you tell your manager that you want to switch. It's not an easy task but if they truly care about you as much as you do them, then they should be nothing but supportive. If they aren't then use that as a sign that you are doing the right thing.

I wish you all the best in your new endeavors. Keep us/me posted!!

Barefoot blogger said...

Change IS scary, and sometimes hard, but that doesn't mean it's bad, it's just the next chapter in the journey of making memories.

laura anne said...

It's not so much taking the leap that brings fear but the anticipation of how or where we might land. But the leap is always freeing... whatever happens you'll learn something.

I remember you saying how scary it was going from student to qualified nurse, and look how far you've come!

Starlight said...

You're planing to quit your job and then look for another one? Are you sure that's a good idea, what will you do if you don't get another job soon?
I don't want to discourage you, that's just the first thing that crossed my mind when I read your blog. It's hard to get a job here in Slovenia people don't quite their jobs unless they have another one waiting. Don't know the situation in the UK though.

I truly hope that it will all work out the best possible way for you :*

Holly said...

Good luck applying for new jobs, if that's what you decide to do.

I can definitely understand why you want to change/leave, especially if you feel like you're going to work in a "I really actually don't want to be here" frame of mind.

Kristen said...

@Starlight I don't think she is quitting her job outright. I think she will look for another job and quit when she does. She has better brains than that!

Go for it Becca, do what makes you happy girl!

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