Monday, 13 April 2009


It is quite a 'heavy' word as some would say. I will admit a taboo topic amongst people over here in the UK.

During my Nurses training when I have asked patient's about their past medical history, if they have had one, every female has shouted from the rooftops whispered to me that they have had an abortion. I just find it extraordinary, and you may not agree, but they can quite easily at a normal tone of voice talk about their asthma, their depression or their current state of health. Yet, they whisper they terminated another life. I have been taught that this occurs because they feel guilty and I hate to admit this. I really do. They should feel darn right guilty, if their baby was perfectly compatible for life on this planet.

This has come strongly to my attention due to Stephanie's recent post. If you have not read it then you should because it speaks volumes. It speaks for the voices of the innocent lives that didn't have the chance to walk this Earth. It speaks volumes for the infertile. It speaks volumes to the people who have lost their most precious and valuable posessions - the baby's they made out of pure love and want.

It speaks volumes to me. This is where I will be very honest and frank with you.

When I was 16 years old I was diagnosed with Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS). At the time I was pretty ignorant of what it caused because it meant I didn't have a period every month. I was free of pain, nausea and being extra hygienic all the time. Whoo, right?!

Then I started to have the most awful mood swings and so I decided to go on the contraceptive pill. I thought having a pill induced (artificial) menstrual cycle would help. I then decided to really research PCOS and what it entailed because all my doctor said was that I wasn't finished growing and that once my body had settled my cycle would be back to normal again. Therefore, the PCOS wouldn't be so bad.

I wish I hadn't have been so naive to believe her because she missed an awful lot out of the equation.

The biggest long term side effect of PCOS is reduced fertility or complete infertility. At the time of finding this out I wasn't so worried because the little future nurse in me believes in medical science and break-throughs. I still do :) Then on May 4th, of last year, I was rushed to hospital after collapsing and falling unconcious with severe abdominal pains. The cysts on my Ovaries had ruptured completely affecting their function. I thought that was the worst of it but what my doctor delivered to me next was heart-wrenching.

I was then told by my doctor that my chances of having children naturally had dramatically decreased by 70%.

I could not believe that I was 19 years old and hearing this, let alone trying to make sense of it. I had never thought of having children at that age but to be told that both my ovaries had 15% function each. I was devatasted and beyond tears/anger.

I will always remain positive for my future as a mother because there is always hope. Forever and always.

I have always disagreed with abortion. Stephanie and the campaign are correct. Responsibility begins at conception. When I hear of the thousands of abortions that take place annually. I just think of how my desire to carry something as beautiful as a life, that mine and your parents have freely given, has been crushed by 70%.

As I am not a US citizen I cannot send this letter but I urge all who can to send this Red Letter, in reflection of the lives already greedily taken, to President Obama. I have signed countless petitions to the UK government. They have listened in the sense that partial birth abortions are not legal but to me, and so many others, that is not enough.

Abortion should be illegal. Full stop.


Brittany said...

Becca, I am so excited you wrote this post! I completely agree with you. I am 100% against abortion unless the mothers life is in danger. Look at Stellan and Audrey's story. The doctor advised them to terminate and they never did. Look how far their story has traveled! Abortion is murder. Plain and simple.
There is going to be disagreement in this topic FOREVER. Hopefully this will make a difference. I wrote my letter.

Brittany said...

1 more thing. I know of a few woman who have been able to get pregnant with PCOS. Don't give up hope~

Alex(andra) said...

When I was younger I was so on the fence about abortion.. but as I've gotten older and really heard stories I'm against it. I think it's insane how many women don't think twice when getting an abortion. It blows my mind... that's a human life they're killing. Now the only one I'm on the fence about is if the mother's life's in danger, or rape.

And definitely don't give up hope. I know several women who've had PCOS and had kids. =)

Stephanie RN BSN (to be!) said...

I'm so glad you wrote this post! I know so many people avoid the topic, but I think it's super important to raise awareness of the implications of abortion, rather than just the emotional aspect.

And I also have PCOS (self diagnosed, because my primary doctor didn't really care to check me out fully) and there are times when I worry about having children. However, with all the assisted reproductive technology out there, anything's possible!

OlyviaNoel said...

Excellent post! I agree with your stand on abortion and think the red letter to Obama is a good idea - I know of a few who have done it already. Don't give up hope about pregnancy - new things are happening all the time! --By the way, I love your blog background!

Samantha said...

Amazing post.
I can't even say the word abortion without feeling angry and nauseated.
I simply do not understand how it can be legal. My cousin has suffered with infertility for years and when she finally got pregnant, she lost the baby at 38 weeks. No reason behind it. No explanation. [end to a depressing story: she has a 3 year old (born at 32 weeks) and is currently 5 months along with her second.]

I simply do not understand how when there are so many people out there desperate to adopt a baby, these people think it is ok to abort? Surely, if anything adoption is the much better option?

Sorry, I went off on one then!

Colette said...

Becca when I started reading this post, scratch that – as soon as I read the title, my heart started pounding in my chest because I was so afraid you were going to be pro-choice. I wouldn’t have thought any the less of you if you had been but... It’s hard to explain but I’m so glad you understand.

Abortion is something I feel passionate about. The argument ‘it’s a women’s body, it’s their choice’ does not wash with me at all. Sure they have a choice – the choice not to have unprotected sex.

I cried reading your story Becca, I’m so sorry. BUT I share your positivity that one do you’ll be a mother – I feel strongly that it will happen for you. Thank you for sharing xxx

Just Caz said...

First of all, I just want to say how sorry I am to hear of your PCOS.
I can't say that I know how you feel,because I don't exactly.
I too hold out faith that you will able to conceive and have lots of children.

Abortion is quite a sensitive topic.
I don't mean to be a pain in disagreeing, but I have and always will be pro choice when it comes to abortion.
Let me say, that I don't at all support abortion as a form of birth control. I don't think in anyway, that people should be that irresponsible when it comes to sex and the possible conception of an innocent child.

However, in the case of incest and rape, I don't think victims of these crimes should not be made to carry babies that they had no choice in conceiving.
I know this is applicable to many young women I know, and unfortunatly it is a fact of life that we all wish didn't exisit.

My friend also suffers from a form of epilepsy.
Unfortuntly the drugs she is on, to prevent seizures, also cause high levels of birth defects.
If she was to get pregnant, there would be an almost 90 % chance her baby would badly affected.
Both physically and mentally because of these drugs.
If she is to ever go off these drugs to conceive it is also dangerous.

My cousin was born, with a rare gentic disorder.. It caused him to have birth defects, he had cancer 6 or more times before he died at the age of 15. I am not saying that my aunt and uncle would have made the choice to medically terminate the pregancy, had they known what he would suffer through.

But I think sometimes such situations should be looked at on an individual basis.
Situations are all shades of grey, not unfortunatly Black & White.

Stephanie RN BSN (to be!) said...

Just Caz, I hate to disagree with you, but there are a couple things I wanted to say really quick. It might give you a few things to think about, but my thoughts aren't meant to make you angry.

Number one: who are we to decide who lives and who dies? I don't feel it's my place to say "Well, a pregnancy would be inconvenient for me...since I was raped, I don't deserve this." Who's to say that child couldn't contribute something wonderful to the world? The baby has a completely different genetic makeup than the mother; therefore, it's a separate human being with the right to live just as much as the mother. If we believe the death penalty is wrong, why is abortion any different? That baby is still alive even though it's not a part of our world yet.

Number two: even though a child might have a genetic "deformity" that makes them less than ideal according to society's standards, they are more than capable of living a fulfilling life. A close family friend of mine has a little boy with Down syndrome and was told she should abort him because of his genetic defect. However, she chose not to and today, he's a beautiful little boy with so much potential. Just because he doesn't meet our society's expectation of "normal," he lives a wonderfully fulfilling life and brings so much joy to those who interact with him.

If you haven't read her blog before, I'd suggest you hop over to and read Angie's story. Her daugher Audrey was deemed "incompatible with life" but she chose to carry her to full term. The few minutes her daughter was alive after birth were incredible and if she had chose to abort Audrey, she would have lived with the guilt of taking her own daughter's life.

So there's a little bit to think about...take it or leave it.

I do what I want! said...

Thanks for you sweet comment on my blog :)
My dress is from forever 21...I'm not sure if you guys have that there but they have a website you can order stuff online! They have super cute dresses! My shoes were from journeys :)
Now I gotta go back and read the post I just commented on! :)

Librarian or Teacher said...

I agree with you. I have always shuddered at the idea of abortion. Somebody said a statement that stuck with me so much one time.

"How do you know you haven't just killed a baby who would have changed the world? He or she could have been president, a wonderful teacher, a pastor, a music star."

Although I don't agree with it my heart breaks for the women who have had it done. I can only imagine what they have and are going through.

Hannah Grace said...

I always appreciate your posts so much..thanks for being willing to share your pain. I absolutely agree with you Abortion is wrong and should be outlawed..

My heart breaks at the thought of all the beautiful children who will never live there lives,and also for the women who have had one and will forever have to live with pain and regret, or even worse never feel guilty because they don't know what they missed out on..

Mary said...

What a great post!!! We totally agree about this subject!!!

student101 said...

oops! looks like i'm late to comment on this one!
this was a great post! As a social worker i knw how u feel regarding being with your patients. I too have heard the 'i have had an abortion' line and have no idea how to deal with it because it is so against my convictions.
Malta is the only country in the EU (don't knw about the WHOLE world) which doesnt perform abortions, but that doesn't mean that people don't fly out to get them done anyways.
So sad that people actually try to justify abortion when it is complete murder.

Holly said...

I'm not a med student, Christian or mother, but...
Responsibility begins at conception.^^ Absolutely.

Suki said...

I know how you feel with the PCOS. I've been diagnosed a few months ago and I've been told that I've got only a 35% chance of gettig pregnant.It just doesn't seem fair.
Anyway, we all hope together that we will be wonderful mom's one day!

Callie Nicole said...

You must have written this post before I found your blog, because I don't remember it - but I totally agree with you! I wish I had known about the red letter campaign at the time, because I would have loved to participate. Abortion is horrible, and it's a tragedy how many lives are lost because of it each year. It especially makes me cringe because I know so many girls who can't get pregnant, and that was me for a while too - to think there are some people who are intentionally ending their babies lives when others would give anything for a baby is heart-wrenching.

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