Thursday, 27 November 2008

Thankful.

In America this past week it is Thanksgiving. Even though "us British" do not celebrate that holiday it has got me thinking. (Yes again!)

We are generally told, in life, that we should be thankful for everything we have got and thankful for everything that has happened to us. This is because it helps us to heal, learn and hopefully become more understanding and less selfish of situations. To become more thankful and less bitter.

Does that mean we are thankful for all the hard times? Death, divorce, heartache, no job and even lack of sleep etc.

After reading many people's blogs and from my own experiences I have come to learn that the answer is. Yes.

I am completely aware that I have a lot to be thankful for. I have a brilliant circle of friends, a developing career in helping strangers, an understanding boyfriend, liberating yet slightly annoying family and my own identity and personal values. The list is endless and, yes, I am unbelievably and eternally thankful for all of that.
But am I thankful for everything?

I am most certainly not thankful for the fact my Grandad died far too soon, that one of my best friends is terminally ill, or that I was not accepted onto the Midwifery course, that my Dad smoked countless cigarrettes until a cancer scare made him stop, that my boyfriend has depression, for lost friends, the fact I am rubbish at Math and the heartache of losing loved relationships even though they mutally ended. I do not know how I can be thankful and reconcile with the negatives in order to have a better understanding.

However, even though I cannot possibly give thanks to all of that. I do have gratitude for what it has helped me relate to life so much better. Even though what has happened affects me profoundly in different ways each day I still have gratitude in my heart. I have learnt that I can still be thankful, even in times of when I want to run away, hide and cry for what I have lost and seen others destroy. Below are some photos of people and trips that I am thankful for.

I'm thankful to my family. At the end of the day they are the people that will always be here and they will always be my family. My life.

I'm thankful for my friends. I would need a whole photo album that lasts a thousand years to showcase all your glory and the happiness and sense of fun you have brought to my life.

However...

'There is no footprint too small that it cannot leave an imprint on this world.' I will always be thankful for the 5 years, 6 days and 14 blessed hours I got with this wonderful man!

I will always struggle to say 'I am thankful that my Grandad passed away' because even 14 years after he flew away - I simply can't. It is too hard. Many would think why would I want to be thankful that he passed away. The easiest answer is that - death is inevitable and we should be thankful for the lives they were able to share to with us and the memories that no-one can take away.

That man - my Grandad - is my hero. Even though I believe that he is in a better place and having the the flying time of his life in his spirit. I cannot express as many words to tell you how amazing he is, how thankful I am for wherever he may be now. Yet, there are many days where I want my hero back and I just cannot be thankful. There are days where I cannot be redeemed.

I wish I had a magic wand to fix all of my life's and others dissapointments. Even though it hurts, that we cry and we curse all the things in life that we always wanted to treasure and keep safe. We simply - cannot fix it. It is what makes us human and part of the race we are all united in. It is what makes us thankful.

I am thankful for everything...even when I do not want to be.

Love, Becca xxx.

10 comments:

Mike and Katie said...

Thanks for leaving a comment on my blog! So many people stop by without saying "Hello!"

I guess I would say I'm thankful for the memories or the good times or the words and deeds of comfort during hard times but I don't think we're expected to be thankful for the pain.

Great post!

Katie

Amie said...

Thanks for stopping by!!

Stacey Wilson said...

Hi Becca! Thanks for your sweet comments on my blog. This is a wonderful post. For a similiar story regarding Stellan, check out The Stisher Family Blog on my blog roll. It will be a story that you'll want to follow as well. Lucas is a such a little fighter, just like Stellan. Take care and thanks again for taking the time to write!! Also, I have friends by the last name FERGUSSON and first names SEAN AND CHARLIE. I know Surrey is probably a populated area, but would you by chance happen to know them?
Stacey
Lancaster, PA USA
p.s. Our city is named after "Lancashire" England - City of Roses

Carla said...

Hi Becca,
Thanks for stopping by my blog and for leaving a comment! Your recent thankful post is lovely and heartfelt, I love it.

I saw that you read Bring the Rain, Confessions of a CF Husband, and Mck Mama's blogs so I don't think what I am about to say will bother you--I just want to bring some clarity to a common issue that people have on being thankful.

First let me preface that my clarity comes from the Holy Bible because I follow the Lord. In the Bible, the Lord does not tell us to be thankful FOR everything....He tells us to be thankful IN everything.

I have been a Christian for 17 years and I have to tell you I was hung up on the very same thing for so long. When I read the verse that says to give thanks for everything, I read it as I have to give thanks for the bad things that I really don't like at all....like the fact that you only knew your grandfather until you were 5.

For example, my son, daughter and I all have a serious chronic disease--am I thankful FOR the disease? No way! and the Lord doesn't expect me to be, and the Lord doesn't love it either!

I am thankful IN the illness though, which could also be taken to mean DURING the illness. I am thankful that when we dont have money for food and rent because of our medical expenses, food is brought to us by loving people around us, and we are given the money to pay for rent without having to pay anyone back. I am thankful that the Lord meets those important needs IN the illness.

I am thankful that we have wonderful amazing doctors and nurses that care for my son, paying attention to every need and desire.

I am thankful that my son and daughter have learned compassion and how to be nurturing as a result of watching each other be sick so often, and watching me take care of them all the time.

You probably get what I mean though, so no need to go on with more examples.

It was a man named Jum Burns who pointed out the difference between for and in to me, and it impacted me tremendously. I used to feel guilty for not feeling thankful for the illness--or get strange looks when I said I was. Now I understand and dont feel guilt or weight bearing down on my shoulders that I am not being thankful in the right way(!). I also see thousands of things I am thankful for IN the hard times and bad things that happen.

Just thought I would pass on some of the clarity that was given to me, and hope it helps you understand it in a deeper way.

Have a wonderful week and take care!

Carla http://mastomama.blogspot.com/

PS I LOVE yellow too--a lot!

Patrice said...

Beautiful post! It really is so important to take the time to remember what we should be thankful for! This is a great reminder of that. Thanks for stopping by my blog, I was also excited to find a blogger my age.. it's so rare in the blogosphere!

♥April♥ said...

Thats was truely a touching post. Thanks for shareing that with us all.

Robin said...

Thanks for the comment on my blog (it was awhile ago)! I've been reading over your posts and I love reading your thoughts...you seem like a very deep thinker like you don't to really take in everything in life.

I loved this thankful post. It reminded me of my grandpa. He lived a good long life and I was blessed to introduce him to 3 of my children (one of whom is named after him) before he went home to be with the Lord. I can say that no amount of time is ever enough. I still miss him terribly and there are still so many moments that I still wish he could be here for (like meeting my 4th child and soon my 5th)! I know that I will see him again. The hope I have in Christ eases that pain but the pain is still there. And I believe that is because we were created for eternity. We weren't meant to say goodbye. Death is the result of sin, a curse we suffer living in a fallen world. Ecclesiastes 3:11 says that "He has also set eternity in the hearts of men;" I just love that verse. We were made for more than this temporary life. I have a longing that nothing on this earth can satisfy, only God. And I agree with Carla's comment that we are called to be thankful "in" everything. I will never be thankful for sin or it's curse but I will always thank God in every circumstance because He has not left me. He died for me, He paid my penalty, He made a way for me to be saved from the ultimate consequence of my sin and to spend eternity with Him. And until then,He walks this journey, with all of it's hurt and pain, with me. For that I can never be thankful enough!

Sorry to have rambled but your post was very thought provoking!

Robin

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