Thursday, 27 November 2008


In America this past week it is Thanksgiving. Even though "us British" do not celebrate that holiday it has got me thinking. (Yes again!)

We are generally told, in life, that we should be thankful for everything we have got and thankful for everything that has happened to us. This is because it helps us to heal, learn and hopefully become more understanding and less selfish of situations. To become more thankful and less bitter.

Does that mean we are thankful for all the hard times? Death, divorce, heartache, no job and even lack of sleep etc.

After reading many people's blogs and from my own experiences I have come to learn that the answer is. Yes.

I am completely aware that I have a lot to be thankful for. I have a brilliant circle of friends, a developing career in helping strangers, an understanding boyfriend, liberating yet slightly annoying family and my own identity and personal values. The list is endless and, yes, I am unbelievably and eternally thankful for all of that.
But am I thankful for everything?

I am most certainly not thankful for the fact my Grandad died far too soon, that one of my best friends is terminally ill, or that I was not accepted onto the Midwifery course, that my Dad smoked countless cigarrettes until a cancer scare made him stop, that my boyfriend has depression, for lost friends, the fact I am rubbish at Math and the heartache of losing loved relationships even though they mutally ended. I do not know how I can be thankful and reconcile with the negatives in order to have a better understanding.

However, even though I cannot possibly give thanks to all of that. I do have gratitude for what it has helped me relate to life so much better. Even though what has happened affects me profoundly in different ways each day I still have gratitude in my heart. I have learnt that I can still be thankful, even in times of when I want to run away, hide and cry for what I have lost and seen others destroy. Below are some photos of people and trips that I am thankful for.

I'm thankful to my family. At the end of the day they are the people that will always be here and they will always be my family. My life.

I'm thankful for my friends. I would need a whole photo album that lasts a thousand years to showcase all your glory and the happiness and sense of fun you have brought to my life.


'There is no footprint too small that it cannot leave an imprint on this world.' I will always be thankful for the 5 years, 6 days and 14 blessed hours I got with this wonderful man!

I will always struggle to say 'I am thankful that my Grandad passed away' because even 14 years after he flew away - I simply can't. It is too hard. Many would think why would I want to be thankful that he passed away. The easiest answer is that - death is inevitable and we should be thankful for the lives they were able to share to with us and the memories that no-one can take away.

That man - my Grandad - is my hero. Even though I believe that he is in a better place and having the the flying time of his life in his spirit. I cannot express as many words to tell you how amazing he is, how thankful I am for wherever he may be now. Yet, there are many days where I want my hero back and I just cannot be thankful. There are days where I cannot be redeemed.

I wish I had a magic wand to fix all of my life's and others dissapointments. Even though it hurts, that we cry and we curse all the things in life that we always wanted to treasure and keep safe. We simply - cannot fix it. It is what makes us human and part of the race we are all united in. It is what makes us thankful.

I am thankful for everything...even when I do not want to be.

Love, Becca xxx.

Saturday, 22 November 2008

Just Magic.

Today was just magic. Magical in fact.

I am not one to revel in others misfortunes but I am one to learn from them. I decided to have a ME day and go shopping, read a magazine, ransack my bank balance...all in good fortune of waiting for my boyfriend to finish work and pick me up :) However, before I digress that is not the epitomy of my blog here.

Whilst I was reading my magazine in the middle of a busy shopping centre my mind and thoughts became transfixed - or more nosy to be brutally honest- to a conversation between two middle aged females. They both spoke of sadness, grief, longing and sighed at everything they could possibly non-verbally communicate to. To put it simply - they weren't happy with their situations or lives. Amongst the upheavel of Chrstimas shoppers were two lonely friends who could only rejoice in the negative happenings of their relationships, family and careers. It made me think. It made me imagine. They needed dreams. Dreams to act upon.

I completely understand that we all need to vent, have a good moan and let all their worries spill out. Everyone does it. What aggravates me is when people release all that negativity and do not reason with it. Basically, they do not realise that what they do have counts for something. Their stories made me realise that we all work hard, that we endure the bad days and take photos of the good. I wanted them to comprehend the idea that if they work hard at what makes them happy then it will pay off . Everyone possesses the skills and experiences which shape and define us and which cannot be taken away from us. We learn...

I learned that we always need to be ready for the next step towards our future goals and dreams so that we can excite ourselves towards new horizons. Even if some are known and some yet unknown. We should entrust ourselves in the magic, to be prepared and readied for that next step.

The reason why today was 'magic' was not because a magician pulled a white rabbit from a hat or that glitter was spinkled across my eyes and reality dawned. It was because I love the magic in realising things that we have always known but have never related to. I have always known that if you work hard and have faith that your dreams come true. I love that idea and admit I have the wool covered over my eyes in that statement. Yet, I will always have the tendency to believe that everyone knows that, but when I heard these ladies negativity I learned that I do not want to be like them. I do not want to dwell in every misfortune and forget the positives. I felt the magic in something my Gran once read to me once my amazing Grandad has flown away:

Hold fast to dreams
For if dreams die
Life is a broken-winged bird
That cannot fly
Hold fast to dreams
For when dreams go
Life is a barren field
Frozen with snow.

We have been given an opportunity to positively impact each and every one of us because of the knowledge and experiences we now have and have learned from. We have the ability to fly and break the ice.

How high do you plan to climb? How deep do you plan to explore? How far do you plan to travel? How big is your dream? We must not allow the negative influences and circumstances in our lives to prevent us from achieving our dreams and aspirations. Again I ask, how big is your dream?

Whoever you are and whatever happiness you hold, remember you have a unique voice that no other in this world has. Your voice is important, and it needs to be heard. Oliver Wendell once said 'What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.' We have so much for which we should be proud and thankful for. You may be from countries which are tiny dots in the middle of the ocean, but with hard work and determination to manifest your dreams, you have the power and duty to alter the world in needed and profound ways.

Boldness has genius, power and magic in it. It has no magic in sitting in a cafe wishing for what should have been and wanting to be 'happy' like others.

As my blog title dictates: The future belongs to those who believe, but it also...

'Belongs to the future for those who believe in the beauty of their dreams. That's magic of it!"

Love, Becca xoxox

Saturday, 8 November 2008

A Fire in the Works.


Call me materialistic. Call me loud. Call me anything yellow loving, easily amused or vertically challenged. Just don't call me a Kid for loving Fireworks. If the saying is true that nostalgia is a warm bath, I become more prune-like each time there's a shower of fireworks above me. Each year when Fireworks night rolls around I regress in age, going back to the days when sitting on my Dad's shoulders was not problematic whilst I looked up at the night sky to see fireworks raining down. Or, really, I was just trying to work out what flavour the firework would be if I were to taste them. Personally the red fireworks were my favourite =].

Even if you weren't lucky to see them in action. At least have Bangers and Mash to make up for the "tragic loss" of missing out on the Gunpowder spirit.

Watching fireworks is like sex in a way: You can do it almost anywhere and it never gets boring. As I stood and watched the annual display flicker above me I could not help but smile to myself. This is where you can call me weird. However, at that moment I am mesmorised at how just clumps of gunpowder can produce the effects of such beauty. Seriously, I secretly wish Guy Fawkes did succeed. It would have been a stunner of a display for London whilst the houses of parliament disintergrated - I digress. The historical significance is eminent in the back of my skull, along with every other "cool" event. Yet, even though Fireworks night is not considered a celebration, the Fireworks certainly do make you feel that 'something.' Whether it makes you feel that you can tolerate being in the pouring rain and the droplets blinding you everytime you look up works. Or, on the other hand, whether it is because everytime that 'Big Bang' releases it shower of colours you can't help but feel that extra bit more snuggled and protected by the downpour of colour, light and fixation.

Every year being under fireworks makes me think and feel the same thing. I cannot help but look into the sky and ponder over the idea that specks of gunpowder joined together can release such a cascade of beautiful colours, noises and effects. I question that if just that can make something so wonderful and - sadly make me think so deeply - that I can achieve so much more to captivate others. It is the exact reason as to why I want to become a Nurse. To work together with other people to produce the happy feeling that I feel under the rockets, catherine wheels and sparklers. To create a positive effect into enriching others lives, even if it is for a few minutes - it worked. Healthcare and Fireworks will never mix, yet the logic is there =].

I know many who will read this will probably think I am looking far too deeply into a firework but to me they really create an atmosphere of complete and utter total freedom. The only thing that matters in the world at that time is the beautiful display above you, lingering in the sky, completely unattached from any of the world's qualms. Those who take in the fireworks show over Disneyland, London, Sydney Harbour at New Years, or even at your friend's reception on their Wedding Day will experience the same thing: absolute bliss. For those 10-20 minutes, rising petrol prices won't matter. Terrorism won't matter. And those nagging university lecturers of yours? Well, they'll still be a sharp pain in your backside, but for that short amount of time, they won't matter either. So call me what you want. On Fireworks night I'm the biggest kid and seldom thinker of them all.

The best display I have ever been apart of.

New Years Eve. London. 2004.

Love, Becca xxx.

Sunday, 2 November 2008


Miracles are defined as a marvellous event manifesting a supernatural act of God. Quite frankly I do not believe it. I believe Miracles are quite simply - a wonderful occurence that you never expected to happen! As many know, I am not a Christian or follow a particular faith. Instead, I choose to learn from what life teaches me - daily. However, that is not to say I cannot understand why many would believe this incredible miracle is gift from the Lord - he truly is something amazing to preach about.

In saying that this week my belief in how Miracles occur was put to the test, because of this little man.

As if butter could not melt in your mouth enough - so quickly!

I follow the blog of MckMamma - - she had three beautiful and healthy children and was thrilled to find out she was adding a fourth MckMuffin to her family. However, at 24 weeks she was told her newest bundle - Stellan - would not be compatible with life. His heart was enlarged, his growth rate was impaired, his heart rhythm was under developed and basically - he faced certain death at birth or shortly after. MckMamma's blog became a treasure to her son and family that was destined by medics to die, but she refused point blank to believe that would happen. She truly believed that her faith would restore Stellan and heal him

I have to admit even after reading all the ailments wrong with Stellan and training to be a Nurse myself, I did not know what to expect. I tried to be positive and encourage myself to believe everything would by okay but in honesty I couldn't. I just saw reason to believe the medics.

I was wrong.
Oh, how I was wrong...
Oh, how happy I was to be wrong!

MckMamma believed her son would produce a miracle and defy all the odds stacked against him. All throughout reading her posts I believed that if I was in her shoes I would believe that too. What Mother wants to grasp the fact that the baby they so lovingly created was not going to lead a life so deservedly and selflessly given to him. You defy it by hoping and praying for someone or anyone to save the day!

On Wednesday October 29th. Stellan was born alive and healthy. The medical team were stoked that they could not find anything wrong with him. Stellan was going to live after months of bloggers consoling MckMamma for either the worse or praying for just a miracle to happen.

I never, ever thought I would see this beautiful image. All MckMamma wanted was her four children together. I feel so lucky to have read and voiced my wishes to Mckmamma on her blog.

1,2,3...Miracle. MckMiracle.

This week I pondered. I thought. I tried to reason with the idea that possibly there is a God who answered everyones prayers. In that Stellan deserved to live and that he needed to live to carry out his quest in life to find his purpose. I truly believe that he is a miracle and that science isn't always correct but I do not believe there was a higher power involved. I believe Stellan did this. He was the fighter. He did not need prayers or gifts from God to cure him. I believe he did it himself to astound the world in his glory. May his life here on earth glorify our mighty creation with every breath he is given. I have come to believe that maybe, just maybe....
Miracles do happen....

What you do Matters...

Have you ever wondered - Why do I do, what I do?

Most people I have been lucky to have met who are employed, enjoy a hobbie or are happy in just their own little world have thought the same thing. Just the aspect that suprises me the most is that the smallest percentage of those people are actually passionate about what they do. This is because the majority feel that they have reached that dead end.

This is alarming because we are going to spend at least half of our lives working or shelling out to help other people. Surely for half your entire life you want to be happy?!

I have actually come to realise and learn that little by little I am beginning to understand that having that promotion, that slightly larger office or having a pay rise really is not going to ease the wrestlessness that most people feel deep within their soul. We have always been reminded throughout education that finding that career or that job is about the creation of value.

If you think back to, all the way back when the Universe began. In religious studies you were taught that God created this planet and that He created Adam. He placed him in the garden and asked him to do the simplest thing: To take care of this. In other words he created roles, work and goals for Adam to set his mind to and create value for his creation. Coming more forward into reality there are ancient scriptures that state that all human beings are created to do "good works". In other means everybody has been given this masterpiece, this piece of art to make an impact and to add value to your lives.

This is why whether your a stay at home mum, a nurse, a counsellor or a good friend we all have the same thing in common.

"We're all on the same quest to discover how to live our lives with full meaning and purpose. Because no matter what we do, we have this one life to live out everyday."

We all have the right to make a significant contribution to the world we live in, no matter who or what puts you down in the process. This is for one reason and one purpose only...

What you do matters....
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